Ohidus Salam "Protik" Mia

December 26, 1972 - November 8, 2009

Intro by: Greg Wolff
"He's not an emotional train-wreck, he's not afraid, he doesn't feel like he has unfinished business. He tells me that he has had a nice ride in life, has no regrets, and appears to be genuinely happy."
Becky wrote these words as Pro lay on his deathbed, but they were true Pro for his entire adult life. He moved amongst us with a rare quality of finding humor and joy in each situation no matter how frustrating, comical, or desperate. This quality tied together the very different faces that Pro put on to connect with different people. Sweet and tender with his daughter Zoe and son Xander, determined and tough against opponents on the ultimate field, bawdy and quick-witted at parties, upstanding and composed in his professional life, thoughtful and realistic as a son born in Bangladesh and living in the US. Over the past few weeks and days we've seen hundreds of stories in emails, facebook, blogs and elsewhere. Hearing these stories you might think they were talking about many different people, not just the one very special person that was Pro. Though we miss the passing of this wonderful life we share our stories here to gain a fuller picture of this man and get to know his spirit even better through the telling and re-telling of our encounters from these many different perspectives.

Growing up

In the beginning: by Dipok Mia
Protik was born in 1972, in a newly independent country of Bangladesh (BD). At the time the nation was dealing with the aftermath of a bloody civil war, poverty and national calamities all at once, which led Henry Kissinger to call it a “Bottomless basket” of misery.
Of course none of that affected Protik. You wouldn’t know it now, but he was one cute little Chubby (with a capital "C") kid. Lucky for him there were no “Fat Police” back then. The elder siblings were always eager to babysit him with the condition we didn’t have to pick him up – not that any of us could, he was just too fat.
As I recall he learned to run before walking. He used to stick his head in front and run in a straight line until he fell. I don't have any memories of him crying after these falls, I don't think the pain ever made it through the dense fat to his nerves. He was very dark skinned (I assume that is the politically correct term) so naturally we called him Idi Amin Dada (the Ugandan’s Dictator 1971- 1979). Over the years he shed the baby fat along with his nick name but the sweet memories linger on ............

Growing up

The High School Years: Phil Anwer
My earliest memories of Protik take place at the blue house in Pennsylvania. I don’t know the address, I don’t know the town, but I do know that the house had a fabulous yard. I can remember running around in front of the house. Somewhere along this house’s exterior was a porch. I remember being on the porch with my father and Uncle Mia. They were talking about something thoroughly boring. The sun was warm and it was a nice day. Protik came over with a drill and a can of soda. He was playing with the drill when my father challenged him to drill a hole in the bottom of the can and drink it down before it all leaked out.
Protik did not hesitate. He drilled that hole and chugged the can down. He did not look satisfied. The fact of the matter was he had already had some of it prior to the drilling. My father commented on the fact, and after a short strategy chat, Protik obtained another can and successfully shotgunned an entire can of soda.
To be honest, I sort of thought he was crazy, because drinking soda really fast made my chest hurt and fuzzy feelings creep into my nose. Looking back now, I see that the pain and creepy tingling were overshadowed by the accomplishment. Protik loved challenges. He loved them so much that he would create them whenever possible.

If it was not going to be difficult it was not worth doing.

I can remember playing Frisbee. The yard was large but not excessive. The Frisbee was fun and everyone was enjoying themselves. Protik was bored by all of this. He quickly went into the house and procured several additional Frisbees. Now the game became chaotic. Many objects were airborne at a time, and the intensity of the game was ratcheted up significantly. I remember noticing that Protik was completely calm in the middle of this storm. I remember thinking that I would like to become calm and in control like that. I also remember learning that dreaming of things to come during a Protik Frisbee game resulted in a bloody nose.
I could have stopped playing Frisbee that day. I would have. That bloody nose hurt. I remember Auntie putting some strange smelling stuff in my nose and everyone asking me if I was ok. I was afraid. Later that same day Protik came up to me. He felt bad as he was the one that had thrown the Frisbee. Unlike everyone else, he simply said: “You better catch it next time.” I was angry. He had thrown that Frisbee at me. Why should I have caught it? He should not have thrown it at me. I mentioned that to him later. He responded with: “Oh… I didn’t know you couldn’t catch.”
Suddenly it was on. I had to learn to catch that Frisbee. He taught me. I could have quit. I would have quit. I wanted to quit. I didn’t quit. Protik wouldn’t let me quit. I look back and think of things Protik has done. Many of us think about what Protik has done. I don’t know anyone who thinks of things he did not do.
Protik was many things to many people. He was a boss, a father, a husband, a cousin, and the list goes on. One thing he was never to anyone was a quitter. His drive was so strong that he goaded others into not quitting. The fact of the matter was, quitting was never an option. Let me rephrase that last sentence: Quitting IS never an option. No matter what today brings Protik foraged into tomorrow.
The important part is that those of us who knew him, those of us who miss him now, can have him with us every day by not quitting. He was a teacher, a role model, and an inspiration. Every time we look adversity in the face and smile we honor Protik Mia. So whenever you feel that pang of hurt, simply look around at your situation and see what challenges you can take on.

Young Adult
From college to Ultimate.
Many of us didn't just know Pro, we knew "Pro and Becky." Unlike most "frisbee couples" no team ever thought of either Becky or Pro as "baggage" though it was sometimes hard to tell if they were more valuable on the field or at the party afterwards.

College Life: by Eric Burke

In 1989, at 16, Protik arrived on campus at Purdue University, and it was immediately clear that Pro was someone who was full of life. We clicked right away -- it was one instance where the "random roomate assignment system" actually worked.

He and I shared a room at Cary Quad, affectionately known as "The Zoo" because it housed 1600 guys. The room was approximately the size of a shot-glass (where you could sit in a chair against one wall and put your feet up on the dresser against the other wall). Despite tight quarters, living with Pro was easy -- he was very easy to get along with, and took a "team first" approach to everything. I don't think any one of us ever had a disagreement with Pro that was anything more than a discussion. We certainly never had a fight of any kind. That's who Pro was.

Pro's Mom used to send up a ton of great Bangladeshi food from Terre Haute. Pro shared it with everyone, even if that meant he didn't get much. That's who he was.

Freshman year, we played a lot of basketball and football. We also watched a lot of "Cheers" re-runs. There possibly was some studying involved.

One time we played flag football in the Intramural league with our RA's team. We were fresh off high school football, so this whole "no contact" thing was new to us. I remember talking with Pro about how we should block for a punt return. The next thing I know (and this image is forever burned in my brain), one of the other team was horizontal in the air as he flew out of bounds after Pro de-cleated him. I don't think he *meant* to do it that hard, but he was going all out. That's who he was.

Also during freshman year, Pro was often approached by the "Campus Christian" groups. I think they figured he probably wasn't Chrisitan, so would be a good target for conversion. Imagine their surprise when, instead of just taking the literature and moving on, he sat them down and grilled them about the Bible and their theology and their beliefs. I don't think he knew too much about Chrisianity, but it didn't matter. He was digging at the core of what they believed by asking pointed (but not judgmental) questions -- I mean, if he was going to join them, they'd better do a good job of convinvcing him! That's who he was.

Pro started out interested in Mechanical Engineering, but soon gravitated to Electrical/Computer Engineering as his choice. I don't think it would have mattered what he chose -- he was going to work hard and be successful no matter what.

During sophomore year, Pro obtained a picture ID from someone who shall remain nameless. Let's just say they sort of look alike and their name end with "-idus Mia". Now, what was funny about that is the picture on the ID really looked nothing like Pro (remember, he was 17 and no glasses, and, if I remember right, the other "-idus Mia" was like 23ish? with glasses), but the good people of Central Indiana really didn't scrutinize it. [The area wasn't too diverse, to say the least.] Once again, Pro shared his ability to purchase the "goods" with everyone. That's who he was.

He started playing Ultimate in the club, and became President during Junior year. During his tenure as President, he put the club on the map in terms of becoming a very good Ultimate club. They were competitive in all the tournaments they played in, and won a bunch. He coached some, but he let some more experienced players do more coaching. He knew how to bring people together to achieve a common goal. That's who he was. He could also spin a disc (don't call it a Frisbee) on his finger longer than anyone I've ever seen, even while doing something else.

Pro graduated college with his degree a semester early and took a job with NCR in Colorado. My final college anecdote is about how he came to get the job.

Pro had to fly out on the weekend to go for his interview. The previous night was a party night. Sometime early morning, I awoke to someone going, "Aw, crap." Pro had overslept (which was classic because he was famous for his absent-mindedness in college; I think he locked his keys in his car at least 5 times that I knew of). He quickly threw a bunch of stuff together to get to the airport. On the plane, well, let's just say he wasn't feeling too well. But he made it to Colorado in one piece, recovered, aced the interview, and got the job. That's who he was.

Pro the Pro

The Career man and Entrepreneur: by Kam Kittrell

Protik graduated from Purdue University with a degree in electrical engineering at the age of 19. He began his career with NCR (where?) as what is known as a digital logic designer (making computer chips). He moved from NCR to Hewlett-Packard working in Santa Clara, CA and Fort Collins, CO. While with HP, he worked on a joint HP-Intel project code-named “McKinley” which was the most advanced microprocessor design at that time.
In 1998? he moved to Austin, TX and joined Cadence Design Systems as a field applications engineer supporting customers with their digital-design CAD tools. After a short time with Cadence, he was contacted by Magma Design Automation to join a new and small sales team without an office who didn’t know what they were doing but were determined to figure it out. It was a perfect fit. Protik had excellent skills for that time. He was one of the few engineers well-versed in both architectural and manufacturing design, which he forged rapidly by his unique experience, natural curiosity, and exceptional ability. This blending of skills soon became a necessary element for chip designers and Pro became the prototype of excellence for those that came afterward. After achieving the first years’ sales goals, Protik accepted a crucial engineering management position within Magma in the San Jose Bay area. While there, he continued his track record of helping win business with major accounts in a highly competitive market. When developing and refining new products became crucial to Magma, Protik changed jobs again to work with R&D.
Protik’s achievements were not only recognized within Magma. In 2002 he was successfully courted to join Synopsys, Magma’s primary competitor, as a vice president while working remotely from Hawaii.
<not sure about the Synopsys years>
Protik returned to Magma in 2005, working in engineering management positions in the San Diego area and stayed with Magma until he and his family moved to Ecuador in 2008. His list of achievements can be described in detail and never give a complete picture of his value. One would need to understand Protik’s positive contributions to the culture to appreciate this. Protik had a swagger. He exuded the spirit of “we can do this” not only from what he said and what he did, but the way he carried himself. His approach was intentionally laid back, but at the same time he demanded excellence. Yeah, we work hard, but work ain’t all there is to life, and no one doubted he wanted it all. And taking it all never meant making those around him lose.

Husband and Father

Husband: by Becky Mia

Pro is survived by his wife Becky, his daughter Zoe, his son Xander, his mother, Jahanara Mia of Bangladesh, brothers; Zahidus Mia (Zina) of Delaware, Rashidus Mia (Belinda) of Pennsylvania, sisters Selena Hena Ali (Ferdous) of New Jersey, and Rehana Molloy (Mark) of Pennsylvania.

Below is a copy of the Eulogy I delivered at Pro's memorial service in PA. -Becky

I know it’s unconventional for a spouse to give a Eulogy, but lately I’ve learned that Pro and I were completely “unconventional”.

As most of you know, I’ve received an incredible outpouring of support and sympathy from both my local support group, and the 4152 people who emailed me when Pro was in the hospital. So, in trying to build up the courage to write this little speech, I decided to read some of those heart-warming, heart-wrenching letters in search of adjectives to help me describe Pro.

“Unconventional” by far got the most hits. Pro was unconventional. There’s no way around it. But, as I mined the text, I couldn’t believe all the different stories and words people used to describe Pro. He was a multi-facetted diamond in the rough. And, after I got through a list of more than 100 descriptions of him, I felt incredibly blessed because I realized that I was the lucky woman he chose to share a glimpse of all of those many facets with.

Thank you all for sharing with me the facets of Pro that you got a glimpse of. To many he was adventurous, gregarious, and funny. Others shared stories of how insightful, generous, and inspirational he was. Some knew his very motivated, well spoken, over-achieving side. And, some knew him as a tender, loving, kind soul.

To me Pro was all of those things and more. He completed me, and it was as if nothing in the world had really transpired until I came home and shared it with him. It’s not enough to say we loved each other as much as we loved ourselves because in so many ways, I didn’t know where “me” ended, and “he” began. And, I know it was the same for him.

About 9 years ago, Pro was offered a VP position in a Fortune 500 company. I guess he was at the top of his game in his career, and he’d worked hard to get there. Around the same time, my family in Hawaii was facing a terrible battle with cancer. Pro didn’t hesitate for a second. He put his career on the back-burner. We sold our Saratoga house during a dip in the market. And, together with my parents and my brother’s family, we ended up in a multi-family home battling alongside my grandmother until the day Pro carried her to the car for her final rush to the hospital. And, all of those things he did not FOR me, but because he was a part of me – because it meant as much to him as it did to me.

We lived a full life together- more than most people get in two lifetimes. So, I could tell story after story. Some of my stories are reserved just for me. Some are just for Zoe and Xander. And, well, some I can’t tell for fear of judgement.

It’s funny, though, ‘cause Pro didn’t waste time worrying about how people judged him. In fact, he didn’t waste time in life worrying about any of the meaningless tasks or B.S. that most people get caught up in. He was so intent on not wasting his life on things that weren’t worth anything to him that he had a system.

For years he kept a whiteboard that he titled, “Keeping Our Lifestyle in Line With Our Values”. When he first told me he wanted me to do these weekly whiteboard sessions a decade ago, I thought, “Oh God, another idea from one of Pro’s millions of time management & self improvement books.

But, as usual, he was right. The whiteboard was an invaluable tool. Each week we would get together and map out daily tasks that would enable us to reach both our short term and long term goals.

Our short-term goals sometimes changed, but we usually met them and added more. Mostly they were milestones to take us to the long-term goals.
Here are some of Pro’s long term goals:

-Have a baby (check)
-Adopt a baby (check)
-Be a good father (check) (check)
-Travel and live abroad (check)
-Learn another language (check) (check)
-Own my own business (check) (check)

Along the way, there were many others, but they were all checked off the list.

So many people thought Pro was such a lucky guy. But, Pro created his fate. He was a very driven, hard-working man. And, it’s funny. He achieved so much laud for things he didn’t care that much about.

He did graduate from college as a teenager. He was an accomplished young man in his career. And, he did compete athletically at National and World level competitions. Don’t get me wrong, he worked hard for those things. But, what mattered to Pro, what his daily tasks brought him to do was about something else. He made sure he was a good man. He savored every moment. And, he made damn sure he fulfilled his dreams.

So many people have been moved by Pro’s incredible courage these last 7 months. But, it’s no surprise to me. He looked death in the face without wavering because he knew he’d met his goals and fulfilled his dreams. He had an indomitable spirit, and even death couldn’t beat him.

In Pro’s last days, he displayed the type of courage that you will never see in a movie or any dramatization. Every labored word he spoke on his death-bed was to comfort his loved ones. So, I want to leave you with these words of comfort. In all honesty, I can say that Pro died at peace. He was not in the least bit afraid, and his only regret was that his time with us couldn’t be longer for the sake of his babies.

Not how did he die, but how did he live?
Not what did he gain, but what did he give?
These are the units to measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not, what was his church, nor what was his creed?
But had he befriended those really in need?
Was he ever ready, with word of good cheer,
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,
But how many were sorry when he passed away.
- Anonymous